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Dzongsar Rinpoche: Why are there many talented and beautiful women in big cities unable to find marriage partners?

Wisdom and Compassion Meditation

Why are you in a big city now?There are many talented and beautiful women looking forNot a marriage partner?

-Dzongsar Rinpoche- 

This has nothing to do with the relationship itselfBut it reflects a fundamental change in society and reincarnation. in the past Women are left in the dark night of knowledgeChained, restrained, cooped up. Women are now more and more educated ,become wiser,And they want independence.

 

Independent views and attitudes are in their mindsIt's even reflected in the shampoo they use. So when they reflect independent colors, lights and brilliance ,The probability of scaring men away is much higher.

 

But this question also illustrates why relationships are inherently flawedThis is due to many combined factors. first Trying to find perfection in an imperfect world has its challenges. Secondly Finding a lifelong partner while pursuing independence,This is a bit of a contradiction. There are many other factors looks tinyBut it will have a big impactBecause everything in the contemporary world is designed to alienate us from each other.

 

These factors include changes in location and time. For example The meaning and value of the institution of marriageIn desert or nomadic cultures,It’s very different from being in Shanghai or Beijing. and as i mentioned before,Tremendous changes have occurred in the past few hundred years alone.

 

We read novels from five hundred years ago about a couple who had a perfect relationshipWe listen to romantic old songsOr read Confucian quotesSuch as quotes about the value of marriage. but we are in  2015 YearTV has so many channels to choose fromThis naturally alienates husband and wifeBecause they each have their own favorite programs.

 

in factEverything about the contemporary worldIncludes all consumer goodsThey are all just urging us to have our own thingsIncluding their own cars. Wedding planners help people get married But in the same companyThere may be other people whose job it is to help people get divorcedBecause divorce is also good business. when people get divorced they will buy moreBecause they live separately.

 

soMaybe it’s time to redefine marriage. live happily ever after Just like the model marriages in China, India or other places five hundred years agoThis will never happen again. Maybe today we need things like singles ads, dating services, or matchmaking websites to promote this concept :“A handsome man is looking for a beautiful girl to be a co-shareholder in a company called Marriage. ”you feel lonely and bored ,So I want a partnerAnd you are also selfishSo I want to be independent.

 

You should also think about itWhat do you want from marriage? do you want a child ?Is marriage a manufacturing industry that produces children??if that's your goalThat being the caseThen it doesn't matter whether your husband listens to the Ninth Symphony.

 

and you should ask yourselfWill this man give you a lot of freedom and space?Will you also give him freedom and space. We're quick to say we'll give each other space But most likely we won't.

 

We should also not be too fixated on being happily ever after with one partner. Clinging to this ideal desire often causes a lot of suffering.

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