Why are you in a big city now?,There are many talented and beautiful women looking forNot a marriage partner?
-Dzongsar Rinpoche- 
This has nothing to do with the relationship itself,But it reflects a fundamental change in society and reincarnation. in the past ,Women are left in the dark night of knowledge,Chained, restrained, cooped up. Women are now more and more educated ,become wiser,And they want independence.
Independent views and attitudes are in their minds,It's even reflected in the shampoo they use. So when they reflect independent colors, lights and brilliance ,The probability of scaring men away is much higher.
But this question also illustrates why relationships are inherently flawed,This is due to many combined factors. first ,Trying to find perfection in an imperfect world has its challenges. Secondly ,Finding a lifelong partner while pursuing independence,This is a bit of a contradiction. There are many other factors ,looks tiny,But it will have a big impact,Because everything in the contemporary world is designed to alienate us from each other.
These factors include changes in location and time. For example ,The meaning and value of the institution of marriage,In desert or nomadic cultures,It’s very different from being in Shanghai or Beijing. and ,as i mentioned before,Tremendous changes have occurred in the past few hundred years alone.
We read novels from five hundred years ago about a couple who had a perfect relationship,We listen to romantic old songs,Or read Confucian quotes,Such as quotes about the value of marriage. but we are in 2015 Year,TV has so many channels to choose from,This naturally alienates husband and wife,Because they each have their own favorite programs.
in fact,Everything about the contemporary world,Includes all consumer goods,They are all just urging us to have our own things,Including their own cars. Wedding planners help people get married ,But in the same company,There may be other people whose job it is to help people get divorced,Because divorce is also good business. when people get divorced ,they will buy more,Because they live separately.
so,Maybe it’s time to redefine marriage. live happily ever after ,Just like the model marriages in China, India or other places five hundred years ago,This will never happen again. Maybe today we need things like singles ads, dating services, or matchmaking websites to promote this concept :“A handsome man is looking for a beautiful girl to be a co-shareholder in a company called Marriage. ”you feel lonely and bored ,So I want a partner;And you are also selfish,So I want to be independent.
You should also think about it,What do you want from marriage? do you want a child ?Is marriage a manufacturing industry that produces children??if that's your goal,That being the case,Then it doesn't matter whether your husband listens to the Ninth Symphony.
and you should ask yourself,Will this man give you a lot of freedom and space?,Will you also give him freedom and space. We're quick to say we'll give each other space ,But most likely we won't.
We should also not be too fixated on being happily ever after with one partner. Clinging to this ideal desire often causes a lot of suffering.